I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten-- Joel 2:25a NIV
Today I am in awe of God. I'm in awe of His timing and His purposes and His faithfulness and the promises He put on my heart almost 3 years ago. I am somewhat at a loss for words so this post is hard to articulate, but I don't want that to keep me from it.
I wish I could better explain the events of today, but what I can tell you is that when God plants a dream in your heart or gives a seemingly impossible answer to a seemingly impossible circumstance, RECEIVE IT. Trust it. And be expectant for it, no matter how crazy it might seem at the time. I spent a good bit of time second-guessing or doubting what I'd heard. It took me a while to muster the courage to share with others the healing I knew Holy Spirit had whispered to me about my mom. 3 years later and I find myself deeply (and somewhat cripplingly) humbled that I may have heard Him correctly. That the moments of pure confidence in His promises could have been a steadfast position all this time. We're not out of the woods yet, but for the first time on this journey, we feel a bit braver to turn around and examine the twists, hurdles and valleys He's walked us through. I well up in tears at the mental image.
This verse is relevant. It's true. In the midst of trials, uncertainties, worries, doubts and stage 4 cancer, we can all bank on God's promises. We can bank on Him having the truest heart of a Father--to see that EVERYTHING, every ounce and moment and conversation and affliction and disappointment will in fact be used (somehow) for our good....even if it takes years.